G’day Lads, Ladettes, Old Lads, and Young Lads…and Hobo.
It’s been an emotional day. Earlier this week my boss politely asked if I could be more like Ben Cousins. I thought “yeah, why not?” and I took his advice. I partied hard, went to rehab, ran from a booze bus, got arrested with my shirt off, was photographed unconscious outside of the casino, and then had “SUCH IS LIFE” tattooed on my torso. It turns out my boss just meant that I had to retire gracefully, like Bad Boy Benny did this week. Not a chance! If Stix can play every week looking like an Egyptian mummy, then surely I can kick on too!
But this afternoon I got the dreaded tap on the shoulder. Not the good “frisky 3am” tap on the shoulder of course, but the one that suggested my time was up at MUAFC (oh yeah, and I’m keeping the tat! West Sydney…represent!)
So, with the end of the season upon us, I must announce that this will be final article for 2010. And if you just cheered, please don’t forget that I may still have access to your Facebook account.
But there’s no better way to finish the year than to round up this footy season’s events with a brand new award ceremony.
We’ve had the Golden Globes.
We’ve had the Golden Guitars.
But now we have… THE GOLDEN RONNIE!
The best part is… YOU can vote on the ultimate Warrior Award; THE GOLDEN RONNIE, which celebrates the best moment of the year at MUAFC. After reading through the following nominations, please make your vote count on the left-hand side of the webpage in the voting box. It’s just like this Saturday’s election, except this time there will be a worthy winner.
And the nominees for The Golden Ronnie moment of the year are;
1)
“T for Tom”; The Wheel of Chappo. Ok, it may not be footy-related, and it didn’t even happen this year, but it may have been the Youtube experience of a lifetime for many of our Warriors (and that’s saying something). And please, don’t let more of my words ruin it. See it for yourself;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jEzxWKVncY
2)
Kim Kicks Out; Ladette’s Captain and all-round good girl Kim Woldhuis got sent off with a straight red card early in the season after kicking out at an opponent. Dutchy still maintains that she didn’t kick anyone, and stresses that it wasn’t even reported. The umpire apparently made a mistake, and she just “extended her foot in the direction of her opponent”. Now, I’ve never studied physics or biology, but that sure does sound like a kick to me. The only Warrior to be given a red card this year…and that is some effort! Ladettes 2010; Red Cards 1… Wins 0.
3)
Mac Uni v Mac Uni… The Demolition Derby; We all knew it was going to happen eventually. Two teams from the same club put in the same division had to face off sometime, but no-one knew just how awkward it could be. From the teams warming up in identical fashion, to the Kooka’s surprise early domination; on-field sledging, off-field sledging, and Gemmatron refusing to sit down on the sideline… surely it was an “intra-club” of a different kind.
4)
Hypnotic Hilarity; For those that were there, it might have been the greatest night of entertainment ever staged (and that’ll be $50 for the plug, thanks Lee). After a few awkward jokes and tricks involving book pages (maybe he was waiting for us to get drunk?), finally he brought out the big guns. Sulli and Rove bravely volunteered to be put under the hypnotic spell, and then provided us with some of the funniest things ever seen. If it wasn’t Rove with a face full of band-aids to cuts that weren’t there, it was Sulli’s brilliant reaction to winning lotto…and then losing it. Sulli may in fact be the next Jerry Seinfeld. If only he remembered any of it.
5)
Claw’s Calendar; It’s not often that players from Mac Uni have to travel as far as Wollongong. But Patrick Sobb seems to love the journey so much he did it twice in two days. Forgetting that the game was to be played on Sunday, our good friend Claw rocked up on Saturday instead. Perhaps it was the lack of players, umpires, and ground equipment that gave it away, but he still felt the need to call DK just to confirm his $2 fine. It was probably the most lenient $2 fine all year, and maybe with all that travelling, Claw’s new nickname could be “Gulliver”?
The final tally will be compiled shortly before Preso Night, with a representative of the winning moment receiving a limited edition Ronnie Landas golden prize (which may or may not be stolen goods from Blacktown Westfield’s).
My second big announcement is that after months of sneaking around and reporting secretly from a secure location, I will be appearing in person at the 2010 Mac Uni Presentation Night in October!! (Ladies please, settle down). First and foremost, I will be there to hand out the Golden Ronnie…but I will also be happy to meet ’n’ greet my legions of fans (Hi Mum!), sign autographs, pose for photos, kiss babies, arm-wrestle Deano, and reveal my new family fun game… it’s called “Slap-a-Jacko”. It’s sure to be a hit.
Lastly, thank you for taking the time to read my excessively long dribble throughout the year. I hope that everyone took it in good humour, but I guess that’ll all be determined on Preso Night (I’ve already been attacked once after training. I turned around and there was Chewbacca from Star Wars yelling at me. Turns out it was just Rove without a shirt on.
Best wishes for the rest of 2010, and don’t forget to sign up for the mighty Team GWS before the apocalypse happens!
Peace out.
Ronnie Landas
ronnie.landas@gmail.com
www.facebook.com/ronnie.landas
Last Modified on 20/08/2010 13:43