Hello Friends!! *THUMBS UP*
You’ve visited Superfooty. You’ve played Supercoach. Now welcome to … Superfriend!
Lads and Ladettes, Superfriend is MUAFC’s new jobs roster system! Um… hooray! (Sorry boys, I really wish it was more exciting than that. But it isn’t.)
Our jobs efforts in previous seasons can be most accurately described by Anchorman’s Brian Fantana; “Sixty percent of the time… it works EVERY time”. Let’s make it work every week.
The term Superfriend might sound pretty lame, but it’s not nearly as lame as fellow Warriors (your mates!) who rock up, play footy, then dash off home straight after the game. It’s selfish and it’s inefficient. Plus, why would you go home and do some gardening when you’ve got a front-row seat to Jacko’s next big biffo? (We all know it's bound to happen sooner or later).
Even though we’d all like to think the game would be better without umpires, common sense tells you that we can’t actually play without them. Every time you bite into a delicious bacon ‘n’ egg roll from the BBQ… it only happened because someone you know gave up their time on a Saturday to cook it for you. Every time you’re out on the field and one of runners smacks you on the scone with a water bottle from ten feet, he does so out of the kindness of his own heart. It’s time to give the love back, Superfriends!
At every home game, a sign-on sheet will be placed near the BBQ where you will put your name down next to the job you performed for that day. This is so we know you’ve done the job. Then there are no arguments. Easy stuff. Next!
But here’s the good oil... each time you perform a job, you will be given points. POINTS! WE’RE GIVING AWAY POINTS! (It’s like bloody Christmas over here… unbelievable!) And there are different points for each job that NEEDS to be done each and every week.
- Field Umpiring (25 pts per half of footy)
- Boundary Umpiring (20pts per half)
- BBQ (15 pts per half)
- Canteen (15pts per half)
- Running water (15pts per half)
- Running messages (15pts per half)
- Goal Umpire (10pts per half)
- Scoreboard (10pts per half)
- Sweeping of changerooms (10pts per match day)
Bonus points will also be offered for people who fulfill tasks at away games, and also doing jobs in consecutive weeks.
Each and every player is expected to rack up 100 points across the season… as a MINIMUM. Two full games of field umpiring? BAM. You’ve knocked up a century (and already, we know you’re not Michael Clarke). Kicking up your heals at the scoreboard for 5 home games? Another path to 100! You’ll be mobbed quicker than Tony Lockett at the SCG. Who’s confused here? You? Rightio. Collingwood fan, eh?
Your Superfriend points will then be accumulated and stored at a secret location (I’ll be honest, it’s an underground lair next to the Wikileaks bunker) and each month a PRIZE will be given to the leader. It’s definitely worth your while. Results will be posted at training so your fellow Warriors know if you’re not pulling your weight.
An end of year prize will also be given to the overall Superfriend *Thumbs Up* … which I’m told is also an absolute cracker. You’ll also get free hugs from the football committee, and a thumbs-up every time you walk into the changeroom! Aww… see? Now we’re all superfriends! Feel the love. Then it’s time to hit the Epping, because Stix gets angry if we don’t.
Any questions/complaints/saucy photos can be sent to danranson@muafc.com.au
Dan “Docker” Ranson
Last Modified on 18/04/2011 12:41