New Reserve Grade coach Peter “Busta” Hyndman has revealed his much anticipated coaching strategy for the 2010 season in a pre-season rant.
Several hours of secretly taped conversation at the weekend (some of which may have been in English), showed that Busta does not rate anyone at the Club, and will possibly compile the team with just three players. Well, four if he plays.
“That’s all I need. A halfback line. They can cut it off in defence, then push forward through… bbuurrrppppp… excuse me… the midfield. Then goals galore. It’s a titanic idea. Absolutely unsinkable. Now, whose shout is it?”
When asked about how many players wouldn’t make the team, the robust Saints fan put down a cast of thousands. “Butch is out. Claw’s out. Wazza’s out. Rooster’s out. G-Stud, Kinky, Abs, Salmon, they’re all gone. Marshy too. Honestly, I can’t see how anyone’s gonna get in”.
Names were desperately thrown forward in hopes of a call-up for somebody. Slime? “Too fit”. Rove? “Too hairy”. Disco? “Too buff”. Stumpy? “Collingwood supporter”. Docker? “Fat Docker or skinny Docker? Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. They’re both rubbish”.
Even some of the club’s premiership players are facing the Reserve Grade axe.“Who’s this Carter Mullins? Doesn’t turn up to training even when it’s on his doorstep. I don’t care if it did cost the government six million dollars to build him”.
When confronted with the news that a team would need to contain at least 18 players, Busta conceded that maybe he wasn’t coaching the Gold Coast, and will have to pick somebody, eventually.
So it does appear that many spots for the MUAFC Ressies are still up for grabs, and this Sunday’s intraclub games are the ideal launching pad for players, new and old, to impress. However, all players must be made aware that the three halfback positions have already been filled. By who? Nobody knows.
Ronnie Landas
Ronnie.landas@gmail.com
Ronnie is an avid Team GWS fan (well, someone has to be), and enjoys push-ups, hill sprints, and dancing to the Ketchup Song.
Last Modified on 25/05/2010 07:22