The wet weather has affected Danny this week and turned his weekly column into a Dribble.
Can we have summer back? All those weekends frolicking on the beach seem long behind me with only 6 games played on the weekend due to the wet weather, and it could be a similar story this week. One benefit of the wet weather was that the social circuit was pumping and there are some good stories that Danny received in his mailbag this week.
Challenge in the cave
Pennant Hills big man, Ted Widmer was sighted walking around his man cave shirtless beating his chest, in 5 degree heat at 3am saying 'is there a bigger bodied forward in the rest of the competition?!' 'If so , I want to see him!' Challenge set.
Polley cracks it
Western Suburbs youngster, Jarryd Polley (pictured left) broke his nose on Thursdays training, claiming he was trying to get a hard ball. Unfortunately it wasn't a game, so it doesn't count and now his modelling career is in tatters.
Bat Files
Rumour has it there was an “Edward Snowden” like data leak at the Bats last week given the amount of in-house information leaked to Danny’s report.
Needless to say the offenders were caught trying to flee to immunity in Russia and have been moved to a Bats “Black Site” somewhere in Bondi. It may be some time before society hears from them again, however I have been assured that all UN detainee regulations are being upheld in relation to interrogation techniques and holding conditions.
This scandal may have been a contributing factor to the size of the devastating loss on Sunday at the hands of East Coast, as sources tell me half the Premier Division side was unavailable for selection, as nervous players jumped a NAVY ship to Adelaide in fear of being nabbed for other offences (AB selfies, Grey Hair) by the newly formed BIA (Bats Intelligence Agency). New leaked memos today reveal an alarming amount of new ‘top knots’ appearing at the club is high on the most recent BIA crack down agenda….
Mr Efficiency
East Coast half-back veteran, Kieran Emery was heard complaining that the commentators only credited him with a kicking efficiency of 80% in the NEAFL last year during the Match of the Week coverage on the weekend. He was quick to advise that the correct figure was 88%.
Pretty in pink
The pink runners shirts have gone down a treat, no more than for the metro group at Picken Oval. Danny hears it is near impossible to get the runner’s job off Justin O'Neill who is pictured here doing his best Miley Cyrus impersonation.
Foul-er bouffant
Brayden Fowler was reported to be spitting chips lately for getting stung $120 for his peroxide blonde comb over. He was none-too-impressed at getting sprayed for a terrible haircut from decoy Hayden Washington. Danny hears they are currently on non speaking terms, especially after Hayden tried giving the reigning Stan Milton Medallist lessons on how to kick straight. Brayden’s response was “at least I get near it.”
Hook(ed), line and sinker
David Hook, the one time social and drinking giant of the Holroyd-Parramatta Goannas was seen leaving the pub early and sober on ANZAC Day as his better half had booked him in for a Christening. This was much to the disappointment of his fellow Lizards who would expect him to lead the charge as he so often has. Some were heard lamenting that "it was the end of an era" later that night.
Pocott boycott
On the subject of Manly-Warringah, Jarad Pocott received a huge shock on Saturday after being convinced he was a chance to play Premier Division. The regular 4th grade back-pocket came to the ground with all the gear and a beaming smile in tow, only to be let down very rapidly by the coaching staff much to the amusement of on-lookers.
On the road again
New Western Suburbs recruits Dan Robinson, Tom Charles and Ryan Speed seem to be spending more time travelling to Sydney from the ‘Gong for social events rather than footy. They have been regularly spotted attending Scubar on a Monday night after catching a train up. This demonstrates a long ride for the boys and some interesting priorities! Lucky their early on-field performances have been above par.
Finally, whilst with the Magpies, their former second grade captain Dave Green was given a glowing appraisal about his leadership abilities at the jumper presentation by coaches and club officials, which looks to have back-fired as the Division Two outfit have lost their first two games. Danny hears this may have something to do with the new captain being more worried about getting tickets to a social event that is held on the last Sunday of every month. Maybe he should invite the Wollongong clan also!
Last Modified on 30/04/2015 14:02
